Short Film Billed As "Art House"

3 sisters 6 minutes

You might want to watch it first, my comments follow

chelsealupkin.com/#Flutter-Movie


















Any time drama is attempted it's an ambitious project. Being able to get believable natural performances out of people is an art form in itself, one that often takes years to perfect. Young directors aren't deterred by these obstacles & push ahead boldly. Sometimes with success.

The pastiche of textures this film presents is compelling, though some fine tuning could still add value. The subject is intriguing & the girls beautiful. I like the fact that it's almost timeless in that it could be set in any number of decades. There are no sounds of traffic or phones, the story is reduced down to the characters. All the subtle feminine textures of hair, skin, lace & touch are beautifully shot. The music also is an appropriate accouterment. There are some gorgeous shots like the ribbons of light thru the sheer curtains, or the exterior picnic of emotions scene.

The pacing is a slight issue, as the piece is very slow. Perhaps the gentle flow could be assisted with a few crossfade edits instead of the chop cuts. The first scene without music, might benefit from its addition. The most abrupt of the chop cuts is when we first go to the red dining room. The color is a jolt from the previous scene & the audible room-tone is rather off-putting. This sudden change has an effect of breaking the gentle spell we've been lulled into. Not sure which editing program you used to compile this, but FCPX can help remove that nasty room-tone. Or another way is to record the room tone with no noise then sample that sound & remove it from the audio track. If the tone is only from the echoing of the vocals in the space then you need to hang heavy sound deadening blankets to catch reflection just off camera & mic the girls differently. This would probably mean recording the mother's off screen dialogue as a voice over then adding it in over the corrected room-tone in post.

Some of the dialogue between the girls about the boy feels a little stilted or unnatural. In a situation like this, instead of keeping them locked to the script verbatim, I might let them play within the context the scene & just improvise, enjoy the idea & keep talking, I'd rotate around them as you did, & just keep the camera rolling. Maybe that scene ends up being 15 minutes of footage, from which I get my golden 30 seconds. They know the purpose of the scene, they know the emotional concepts behind the encounter being discussed, as well as why & what they're talking about, I don't need them to hit specific words, they're just guidelines. If they hit them, fine, if not, something organic & natural for them will come. I might even be talking with them while we're shooting, shaping the conversation into the streams I want to explore. I think with the camera revolving around the trio, crossfades between dialogue lines & inserts of faces listening, emotively responding, might work marvelously.

As the piece stands, I'm not entirely sold on the non-linear timeline. It appears that the final shot of the girl standing by the door is her in the new dress getting ready to go out on the fateful heartbreaking night. (I could be wrong). However, due to the slow pacing & overall sombre tone of the piece, this angle really makes her look kind of depressed & forlorn standing there. The lighting also contributes to this effect. If this is her big moment going on the date, we need to see her full of optimism & hope. Only then do we create the artistic contrast needed for the thematic elements to gel. If we see her from the front angled up at her expectant face, radiant in the light coming thru the window on the door, eyes wide with promise, sister arrives as the girls begin to leave. Then we go to that top of the landing long shot to see them leaving, & we're left with the ominous overtones of that angle. This could have been a very artistic & interesting juxtaposition for the timeline juggling.

Thanks for sharing, Chelsea.










J. Matthew
Global•Watch•Media•Consulting
www.GWM2.com

@GlobalWatchM3

Well, rather than start a new thread, here's a kind of "art house" short.

Hilarious

So typically French & Nihilistic