What does someone have to do to get some good Karma around here.

Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather?
A: An offer you can't understand.

---

Why did the blonde nurse take a red marker to work? So she could draw blood
__________
:woohoo:
__________

So this old man is walking down the street in Brooklyn.

He sees a young boy sitting on the street in front of a candy shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast as possible.

The man walks up to the boy and says "You know son, it’s really not healthy to eat all that candy."

The kid looks up at him and says, "You know my grandfather lived to be 97 years old."

The man replies "Oh and did he eat a lot of candy?"

The kid looks at him and says "No, but he minded his own fREAKing business." :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo:

I guess no one liked the joke....

Q: Why did the videographer cross the road?
A: To “allow enough time to read, analyze, notarize, scrutinize, complete, and return in proper courteous fashion a provided multi-page, fine print, suitable-for-framing “Work Order/Terms of Service” form to our onsite videographer, no later than one hour prior to my/our/their performance, with payment, in unmarked bills, to be left in a specially-arranged drop-off box. Exact fees are approximate, and will be pre-determined at a later date.
We are the Org. Resistance is futile.”

I didn't really like this joke...but it seems relevant....I would have answered... "to get a better shot"

A priest, a rabbi and a hooker walk in to a bar. The bartender looks up at them and exclaims, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?

Do you think it needs changing?

@ Jimmyfinn

Maybe the Karma thing is a joke also....I clicked on your Karma thing 3 times, refreshed the page...no change...

...or maybe you need to be a Platinum border...

...that explains it all b/c I would have had a +1000 karma....

I have no intention of advertising...just giving credit where it is due... just to keep things light...

I actually went in to a clicking frenzy just now trying --- I cant believe my eyes....hahahahah ---- ONE Karma +.....

it must actually be a rare commodity to maintain...

thanks....

Ok so Ben said the word bar....

Unfortunately I was drunk when I heard this one so I am not sure if I am doing it justice. But here it goes.

A cowboy walks into a busy bar orders a drink and looks around at the customers. He gets up places his huge colt on the counter and draws a line on the dusty floor of the bar dividing it into 2 halves.

Then he say OK I want every one to divide into 2 groups. On one side of the line the assholes and on the other side of the bar the good people. So every one shuffles to one or the other side of the line.

They are all on their appropriate sides eyeing each other up and things could turn nasty at any moment when one of the good guys who is really drunk says hey I am not an asshole. To which an asshole responds OK you can come and join us...

I will personally shower any one who knows the exact correct version of this Joke with mountains of good Karma. I heard it in Triest in Italy last year whilst drinking some weird voodoo mix at a suspicious bar next to the beach. It made sense at the time! :woohoo:

Q: Whats the difference between a DP and God?
A: God doesn't thinks he's a DP.

Q: How do you get the attention of an aspiring actress (or aspiring model) in LA?
A: Waitress!

:woohoo: :evil:
A Director arrives below and is met by Satan who shows him around. Turns out that Hell is a gigantic movie studio with the latest and best equipment, stages, great actors, etc. Director thinks its great and asks Satan what heaven is like if hell is this good. Satan says heaven is exactly like this, a movie studio. The Director is confused. "Then what's the difference," he asks.

Satan smiles. "Well, in heaven they actually *make* movies."
:evil: :S :side: :woohoo: :kiss: :oops: :blink: :silly: :lol: :dry: :ohmy: :evil:

waternyc wrote: Maybe the Karma thing is a joke also

...

OK ben, you are now back to zero! Dunno how long it will stay that way.

I just noticed these little messages up at the top of the screen. When you give someone Karma... Ben I just gave you one bring you to a resounding 2 ! it says users Karma increased....and if you try again...it says you're only allowed to apply a Karma once every six hours....

Are these rules posted anywhere that I've yet to notice...

Q: How many film Directors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Just one. But they don't have to screw it in; they just hold it up and the whole world revolves around them.

Q: How many video editors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. "No more changes!"

A Producer and a Director are sitting side by side when a pretty women walks past. The Director says "I'd sure like to screw her". The Producer says "Out of what?".

LOL

What do you call a fight between film actors ? :ohmy: Star wars ! :silly: :woohoo: :silly: :woohoo:

... or drama queens vs divas!









(Just as a side note - & this is real - don't ever go to an actor's union meeting! You'll be surrounded by thousands of them, all grandiose, self important, 99.999999% out of work, bitter, spiteful, morose ... AND... as they open the floor up to questions or statements ... every one of them desperately craving some stage time. You're in for a very long & tedious evening of the most torturous variety. It must qualify for a serious ranking on Simon's levels of hell scale.)