Interested to see what you think...

Hi Guys/Gals,

This is my first post here, looking for some feedback.

A little background

I have been flying RC planes for a few years and recently I built a Tricopter. I attached a GoPro camera to the Tricopter and have been using it to film from the air. I have been using the tricopter since July and using Final Cut Pro X since August. I have only created very basic videos and I know that I am not using even a fraction of the features in FCP.

I have become more and more interested in creating videos that have a story and I recently did a video of a local heritage steam railway line.

I wanted the video to tell a story, to give the impression that the steam train was in a way being chased by a diesel train. I wanted to give the impression that the steam train was being replaced by the diesel but that in the end the steam train emerges as a sort of hero and leaves the viewer with an affection for the steam train.

I'd value your feedback on what can only be described as a very basic video (judging by other videos I have seen on this site) and any tips on how to take it to the next level.

Here is a my video :-



Thanks in advance & merry Christmas

This began, for me, with high hopes, being a lover of both aerial footage & trains. The setup, scenery, music & characters all started strong, eventually we suffer a slight derailing. How'd this happen? Well, let's travel down that track a ways, or at least until I run out of railway puns.

On a good note, your thematic elements sounded great, establishing an emotional bond with the romantic charm of a bygone era, the potentially sinister advance of technology bearing down on our whimsical journey thru memory lane, I bought it all. Upon deployment however, somehow we stepped off the platform.

Gorgeous days for shooting, light fluffy clouds, interspersed with bright sun, lush green countryside, ideal really. Your choice of music was perfect for the old steam engine, not so much for the black-smoke belching diesel. Merely seconds into our first flight we see why the vast majority of UAV Camera Platforms are quad copters or more. The instability here is egregious. Sure there is some fine stabilizing FCPX can do, but your camera shake is violent & extensive, perhaps beyond stabilization capabilities. This problem, unfortunately permeates the piece throughout, leaving the viewer shaken & not stirred ( what? Bond rides trains doesn't he?).

Ok, so that's a technical issue. Fortunately, it sounds like you're pretty handy with tools, so adding another motor & prop shouldn't be too difficult for you. From a filmmaking standpoint we run into a couple of other issues. Primarily one of contrast, or lack thereof.

The average person watching your film isn't going to pick up on your intended thematic narrative, in fact if I hadn't read about it in your description, I'd have had no idea. Yes, it gets sidetracked. (Are we getting tired of these yet? There's only a few more, please remain seated, we're almost there.)

First problem is we use only the same kinds of shots, similar angles & distances, so, not only are there no filmic contrasts between the two trains, the audience is drummed into tedium before we get to act three. It comes off as a bunch of shots of trains, all looking pretty much the same.

Contrast can be achieved by variation. Mix up your shots, especially their focal lengths. Yes I understand you're on a fixed lens camera, so move closer. Almost all our shots are about a 45 degree angle looking down on the left side of the trains. The rise & fall is a bit jinxed by the shake, but how about some low shots, head on, or scoot in behind the caboose then rise up as she steams away? That shot would have been nice as a final glimpse before we fade to black. But lets backtrack for a moment.

Greater emotional affinity with our star could be achieved with some up-close & personal shots, especially of the fascinating engine. You do know that trains have faces? Just watch an episode of Thomas. Yet we never see the face of our hero here. We long for that. Perhaps some footage in a station to begin, or at least slowed down from the front & low, so we get to know him, then move up so we can see him run.

Love the passage thru the steam, we're flying down the track now. Then the nemesis, foreboding, we need to feel that in the music, remember Jaws, we crave an emotional contrast here. Work your color treatment, angles, movements & distance to build a contrast between the two trains. Would have loved to see some contrast between the soft white billowing steam & the black smoke, alas that never wafted our way. (Insert humorous Pope selection comment here)

Oh, one other thing, kind of a cardinal sin, speaking of popes. We change direction with the trains, for most of the film they're traveling from our right to left, except for a bit in the reverse, which implies impending collision rather than pursuit. It confuses the viewer. Speaking of pursuit, we never get that feeling. This can be accomplished by varying tempo of music, visual cuts, angles, etc. One of our first shots has our protagonist moving from the bright sun into a shadow from a cloud, that for me was a tiny negative. Unless it was your intention to imply his bright days are being encroached upon by his rapidly gaining usurping counterpart, but it was a bit early in act one to try to establish that.

All in all, your gear, choice of subject matter & general filmic sensibilities show plenty of promise, so please don't feel sidelined by my comments. Fortunately, like trains, another opportunity shall be along shortly. We look forward to your next film.

Thanks for sharing, MatZeRO






J. Matthew
Global•Watch•Media•Consulting
www.GWM2.com

@GlobalWatchM3