More news about "Te$tiMoney" The Series from the #1 indie site online IndieWire

blogs.indiewire.com/shadowandact/watch-e...acher-man-te-timoney

Maybe keeping all the related posts on this series in the original thread would be better?

Episode one garnered a fairly positive response from me, unfortunately this time around you won't be as happy with what I have to say.

Starting with something on the plus side, I appreciate your opening production company logo bumpers, but that's about it. Sorry, but I have to be honest, or keep it real, as they say. The Te$timoney title sequence falling money looks very cheap in the CGI flat fake money sense. I'd prefer real money falling, there're tons of stock footage examples of these on the web, I'd have it falling thru some beams of light, overlay, blend, multiply or whatever it takes, but you'll get a far higher value look to start things off.

You've lost a lot of the magic we had in the first episode. We've shifted to all interior scenes, & the energy & passion seems completely drained out of it. When writing drama you have to ask yourself, what's the purpose of this scene? What twists will be presented, the motivation for the characters, the driving force behind the story, etc? The problem here is that we end up not caring about any of the characters, not one of them is likable or compelling, that's a surefire recipe for loss of viewer interest. This is just beginning with the written page, then as we attempt to flesh it out, we've got a myriad of other issues. It's uninteresting visually this time too. You've got some serious color issues, most markedly in the pastor's office with a nauseating sickly pale yellow green cast (not just her dress), then cutting to the hallway, the image is so dull & flat, it looks like amateur video. Inside the office the sound is appalling. All these points result in decreasing audience interest. Some of the acting seemed weaker this time around, coupled with the cheesy establishing shots which just came off as lazy. The zoom on the still photo of the church was awful, the exterior of the councilman's office was serviceable, but there's no way we believed the office interior was the same building.

Finally, the indie film page telling us about the film before we saw it, I didn't really get the point of that. Yes, I understand you want to build a following & increase interest, but the promo ad copy had the reverse effect.

Episode one had me intrigued & engaged, this one, completely the opposite. You've got the talent, but you need to really agonize over every aspect of this process, work & rework the script until it sizzles, plan your shots, lighting, everything meticulously before you shoot, then much more time in post, get this stuff so polished that every frame & every sound is thoroughly engaging the viewer with all their senses. You want your audience electrified, clamoring for the next episode, not wandering off for a snack or nap. If you don't pour enough passion into every component of your job, neither will your team, thus the entire project lacks life & you can't expect to get any out of your audience either.

Don't worry, be encouraged, you're halfway there, you showed a lot of promise last time, this is just a little speed-bump. It takes many years to master this stuff. A bit of study never hurt anyone... even films that you like, break their scenes down, everything, each word, each angle, subtext, everything. Think how you can apply those techniques to your story. Most of all, don't give up, maintain a self aware optimistic attitude. By that I mean not blinded by pride.

I like this quote by Thomas Edison - "Many of life's failures are people who didn't realize how close they were to success when they gave up." Remember, for years Edison painstakingly tried over 3000 methods until he finally managed to develop a lightbulb which worked, but then he lit the world. Go & do likewise...



Thanks for sharing, Cinexa.







J. Matthew
Global•Watch•Media•Consulting
www.GWM2.com

@GlobalWatchM3

Thanks again for the feedback. I will take it all in. I appreciate you taking the time to elaborate on the improvements that I need to make. I will continue and improve. The issue around characters and storyline was echoed by one of my mentors. We will take a hard look at the next episode and re-focus. I really like the Edison quote. I will push forward. Again I really appreciate it, it means a lot to me that you would take the time to share your knowledge and insight.

You certainly have a tremendous attitude, Cinexa. That alone gives you a great advantage over many already in the industry. As I'm fond of quoting ~ Your attitude determines your altitude. If you want to send me your script before you have your first table read, we can go over a few things corresponding by email & time permitting, I can maybe offer some subtle tweaks to help drive things forward. The addition or deletion of as little as a word or two per scene can change everything in regards to interest, energy, tension, passion, urgency, mystery, etc. If there's a convenient time, we could also talk by Skype, YIM or AIM. I'd really like to see you do well with this...