Critique My Video

Thx

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It started out alright but it became very mono tone, defiantly needs more dynamic then just a "talking head" and showing how to work with censored.

Take look over some of your effects (bad tv) and see if they are really needed and go over the edited it felt to me it was a bit of from the flow of the audio, the audio was out off sync in some spots (do another QC it could be youtube we all know how they work), maybe through some footage in, from, audio recording or... give it some more dynamic.
Good FCPXing

Cheers

Thanks for the feedback. My next video will be better

Thanks for sharing your work with us. For me, this is one of the best rap videos I've seen here. Starting with the audio track, it's an appealing song, well mixed, nice contrasting chorusing coming in late, etc. It has a nice professional sound to it, & rap's not even my genre. Sure the message is a bit offensive with the profanity, so further editing might be required if you seek airplay. One other comment on that topic, not sure if that's supposed to be a page from the Bible you're burning there, but that could also get airplay denied, especially in America.

I like the way you've shot it, your performer has real presence. In fact, to use the modern vernacular, it's pretty amazing that this guy can exude "swagger" while sitting down. Your use of the black & white is very effective, as well as the smoke. Camera movement fits the feel, as do the cutaway shots (could even use a couple more). The introduction of a second character in the third act seems incongruous. Too little, too late? If you're going to use him, use him.

Actually, I think your main man is strong enough to carry the piece solo, he's engaging & compelling. Your use of costume & light works too. The rhythm of your cutting fits perfectly for me. The use of effects is balanced & not overdone.

Except... early on you use some kind of green pixel generator which for me just doesn't work. The effects are large squarish looking aberrations which remind me of old style video games with terrible resolution. That color also greatly detracts from the artistic theme the rest of the video portrays. I would lose the green blobs!

However, during this sequence there are some tiny red dot lights, which are strangely appealing, I don't mind those. Your other critique in this forum sought a bit more diversity. I think you could achieve this with some shots adding a slight blue tint to the black & white. Maybe another with more grain. Just subtle enough to mix it up a bit. From a director's standpoint, there's nothing wrong with adding a bit of mystery, or emotional backstory. One of the cuts could show a picture of a girl near his hand on the table, with perhaps a handwritten note from her. Or maybe an iPhone lights up with her face calling, he looks then carries on with what he's doing. Or perhaps to fit with the whole drug message you've got going here; a bundle of money & a gun..... and we just got MTV rejection.

But you get the idea, just a second or two shot can expand the character's emotional depth & therefore his appeal. For me, the love choice is always superior. Go with the girl idea...

Nice work.

TrxTrax - Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it. my next video will be better